It was such a lovely thing to have said to me, one of my friends told me that I had helped her to accept who she was, and more than that, to celebrate it. Our discussion went on to relate to a family occasion she was attending, and how she was being taken out to choose an “appropriate outfit”, and that she should “fit in” to the occasion. I said “oh stuff that”, “wear what you want, express who you are, it’s their problem if they can’t handle the true you”.
But I knew all too well where she was coming from, you see I too was a person who would try and “fit in”, to the point I would get upset if folk whose opinion I not only valued and trusted, but would sometimes put above my own, found displeasure in me or did not seem to value me, or my contribution. They were only acting out no doubt, the criticisms I gave myself, and their voicing it only served to give it credence.
But what I was missing here was my own need for self-acceptance, self-love, and self-approval. As soon as I started to accept that I did things in a certain way, behaved and thought in a certain way, although always aiming to come from my own truth, finding out who I really was, and connecting to my own heart and authenticity, and finding more of a peace within me, just by accepting myself, that I started to care less and less of others opinions of me... it just didn’t seem to matter anymore whether I gained their approval or not, and if they didn’t resonate with me, I accepted that was just how it was, and let it go.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not been an easy path, and I know there is much I can still aim to improve on within myself, and if not kept in check, I can always find fault more times than not – in fact I sometimes find it hard not to be over critical of myself.
Do you find that about yourself also?
And don’t we all go through stages in life where we need someone to tell us what we are doing is okay, that we are valued, that our contribution is welcomed, and more to the point, that our existence is meaningful?
But what if that voice isn’t there? What if, when you need it the most, everyone is out? Where do you connect to when you feel you are running on empty and the world seems like a bit of a harsh place?
From my own truth and experience, this is when I aim to connect to my higher-self, that part of me that seems to speak more of fairness, love, kindness and compassion. It can be a very subtle quiet voice that often requires one to be in stillness and quiet contemplation to hear, but it speaks a wisdom that the lower ego part of ourselves can often shout over, and in many cases win over even logic and reason, telling you things that only the worst critic would ever say.
But if one is to feel, hear, listen and connect to their soul, that part of you that always has been, and will always be. This is the part of you that no matter what happens remains steady in itself, because it is the true compass of your very beingness ... and often something that we experience when in deep meditation or in transcendental moments of our spiritual experience. It is not always the first place that people think to connect to either. When the chips are down, often it may be food, alcohol or drugs that some may reach for to feel “better” or to connect to something that is outside of themselves. But it is within you that the answers truly lie. It’s a cliché perhaps, but nevertheless a truth.
So the next time you need something outside of yourself to feel better, just sit for a while, keeping your spine straight, close your eyes, take some deep breaths, finding a stillness and peace within you. In that zone, where the spaces between thoughts and visions become more and more, you may sense that larger essence part of yourself, that quiet part that is stillness and silence itself, but when asked a question, you may find a gentle voice respond, and the answer will feel like it comes from a loving space, anything that sounds nasty or mocking will be your ego talking back at you ... but if you are in touch with your feelings, you will know of what truth comes forth, as your soul sound resonates throughout your physical and you hear your own personal truth.... and so it is.
Peace and Blessings on your journey
Sarah - Your Helper Angel
Assisting you with the wings to fly xxx
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