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I do not know how many times I have been asked by Spirit to tell my clients its time for them to let go because the times are too numerous to count. However, the measure of how difficult letting go is can be found if you ask yourself how many times have you been told that in order to move on, you need to let go? It is sound advice because it is true, you can’t move on unless you let go. Being true though doesn’t mean that it is easy, nothing complex is easy, and for many, the process of letting go is complex.
I say ‘for many’ because there are individuals who, for one reason or another, don’t have much of a problem with letting go, it is easy for them and so they move on. There are many reasons for this and one of them is that they are less emotionally attached to the goings on in their lives. It has been my experience that only those who are more emotionally attached to or invested in living their lives that have a far tougher time disengaging themselves from an event that caused emotional pain.
If you boil it down to its simplest state of being, what causes us emotional pain it is loss itself, which seems ironic. In order understand the complexities of letting go, you must first asking yourself a really difficult question, which is “did you ever have what you are being asked to let go of?”
When it comes to the great loss, which is that of loved one, your initial response will be “yes of course”, he or she was mine, my mother, my father, my brother, sister, my friend, my pet. What is often forgotten in relationships is that no person or animal is an object, and therefore, another cannot own them. Therefore, the emotional connection you have with that person is a shared experience. Letting go means that you are being asked to release your self from a shared experience that no longer exists because the physical representation of your loved one no longer exists on the earth plane.
He or she has reverted back to their spiritual Light Being state; they are patiently waiting for you to let go of their physical memory so you can both start to build a different type of relationship. One where your friend, mother, husband or child is active working with you in Spirit whilst you continue on the earth plane. These spiritual relationships can play a major role you recovering from your grief and are very rewarding. This is because letting go frees you both up to start your next respective phases of spiritual evolvement, with he or she in Spirit and you on the earth plane. You may feel it is impossible to do this for yourself, but for their sake, you will be able to do it for the one you truly loved – how could you not?
If you fail to feel relief having released yourself, it will be due to muscle or body memory. For those of you who are more emotionally attached to your lives, it is important to remember that severe emotional loss can produce traumatic pain to which every cell in your body responds. Your body remembers this response because that is what bodies do; they remember what affects them so that they can better prepare themselves should it happen again.
In other words, your body and your subconscious mind remember what your conscious mind can with time, dim the memories of. This dimming is often referred to as forgetting, but I personally am of he opinion that we cannot forget some experiences. All we can do is to learn to live with them whilst we allow time to do its work. When loss is easier to bear is when the process of letting go is underway and you find yourself unwittingly moving on.
However, it is far harder to wipe the memories held in the body. Every time you meet a situation that is similar to tor reminds you of that which caused the trauma your body remembers and responds as it did at the time of the loss. The upshot of this remembrance is that you find yourself suddenly bursting into tears or feel upset but you don’t know why. There are several therapies that are available to help release body memory, massage, kinesiology and ERT to name but a few as well as certain rituals. It is important to remember thought we are all different, so if one technique doesn’t work, try another, but in reason. You always have to first question whether you really want to let go, if in your heart of hearts you don’t, and this has nothing to do with being ready or not, all the therapies and rituals in the world will fail you.
I call the losses that do not involve death, lesser losses because you can start again. These are loss of a job, a property, business, custody of a child, health and divorce etc. Lesser losses carry their own trauma in their own right but due to the fact, you can start again; there is no permanent loss as there is with death. Again the more emotionally attached you are to whatever; the harder the loss will hit you. Although body memory still applies, with lesser losses, you can to look at things from a slightly different perspective and this new perspective can speed up the process of letting go and move forward.
Like greater loss, lesser losses are tied into a lack of communication with your conscious and Light being state and the concept that in your Light being state, you chose every event, both positive and negative, that you experience in your life before you were born. Few of us remember what it is we choose for ourselves in any given lifetime. If something is taken away from you, it will be because your Light being state chose to do one thing and your conscious self decided to do something else. This disparity is caused by the fact you have free will when on the earth plane coupled with the fact that you don’t remember what it was you chose when you were in your Light being state when constructing your present life.
Therefore, lesser loss can be seen as an unwanted opportunity. Because of the lesser loss, you are free to choose another career, relocate, improve the relationship you have with your child, find a more suitable partner or when it comes to health, remind yourself the importance of looking after yourself.
Last but not least is the loss that occurs when what could be is denied to you. This type of loss is associated with dreams that have been dashed. Such dreams are never meant to be, but you won’t feel like that at the time. It occurs when we don’t get what it is we think we want, because we always get what we need. Examples are failing to buy a house you wanted, getting into the university of your first choice, not managing to date someone you really like. Although this type of loss is trivial when compared to the greater and lesser losses, never the less it makes a marked impression upon our emotions. Body memory isn’t involved, but resentment keeps the loss alive in your mind memory. For some, failing to live their dream can cripple them. So how do you let go of something you never had. It seems the only way to meet this type of loss is to put your trust in your Light being state, for it holds the big picture of your life, in which everything makes sense. By doing so you can accept the loss and resentment dissipates, thus releasing you and enabling you to discover what better suits you. When such action is taken, you will be placing yourself in a position where you can look back and say to your self “than heaven my dreams were dashed because if they were not, I would not have to got what I have now”. The alternative to acceptance is to live an unfulfilled life not able to meet your true and full potential, whilst your resentment eats you away.
Letting go is an art form that can be learnt. It is an integral part of living and if practiced as and when necessary it contributes greatly to your overall well being. For information regarding the services I offer, please visit my website www.elizabethfrancis.co.uk
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